Share some advice for those with social anxiety?

If you suffer from social anxiety, get a life.

Seriously though you might wanna explore some new hobbies and stuff.

To cut the long story short, it pretty much took other very persistent and socially oblivious people to cut through my shell, first, and then, on my end, getting through my social anxiety required exposing myself to social situations, especially ones where I would need to exhibit at least some amount of initiative. Having a few close friends is great so you can rebound. Its very easy to relapse right after you do the whole self-exposure thing because then you're alone again with a chance of ruminating on what you could've possibly failed at in the interaction you attempted. That's normal, though, especially at the beginning; don't let your own thoughts discourage your efforts. Think about how you might be perceiving things through a skewed perspective, and decide to give it another try. Eventually things will get better.

I would say the most difficult part is identifying what part of it is actually your social anxiety and what part of it is just your desire for solitude, because its easy to mix them up. I had SA and am an introvert, and it was hell'ah difficult to distinguish when I was generally interested in being alone and when I was just avoiding what I had to deal with while being around people. But when it starts to feel easier to tell the two apart, I'd say that's when you hit the sweet spot and have made a significant stride in your SA. Now-a-days I've started to realize I'm just not the kind of person to initiate social interaction--at least not until after an extended period of time in "observer" mode. So I've taken to focusing on what I do when someone approaches me instead (and only occasionally on changing it up a bit anyway). Also, use your SA as an opportunity to double-down on hobbies, especially ones that potentially grow your knowledge or skill at something. It not only potentially makes you more interesting than you already are as well as potentially crafts niche communities you can rebound from, but it also gives you confidence in yourself independently of whether you think you're "good" at socializing or not. And ironically, not caring about that (as a measure of self-worth) is a good component to getting through SA, I'd say. Everybody's different in the way their anxiety acts up, though, so you'll also have to find your own path.

based_bluetawn wrote

Try amphetamines like methamphetamine or adderal (which is identical), don't smoke them, snort or eat and don't use more than you have to because they are fun and tempting, don't redose, yes, meth causes dopamine system damage, regular amphetamines do not.

I learned more from a couple uses of amphetamines than I did in a college class on public speaking (though it did help).

I went from socially anxious to an extremely nerfed anxiety response.

That's my experience, don't take it as truth. Playing with drugs is a dangerous game.

I personally don't really like any drugs. They tend to make me feel like shit.

I've had it since sometime in high school. 23 now, and still dealing with it, but it's been getting easier. A few years ago it was so bad that I literally couldn't speak a word in groups of 2 or more people. But I've had a lot of shit happen to me that caused me to give less and less fucks over time. And not only that, you also start to realize that your social anxiety is ridiculous and that there's literally no point in letting your mind have such a negative control over your body and actions. You also need to realize that nobody really cares about you as much as you think they do. I also have adopted a sort of negative belief system that is helping my social anxiety slowly get better. We're all going to die one day, and no one is going to remember your little moments or even your entire person in one hundred years, which is nothing when compared to the time span of the Earth. Everything is meaningless, why live miserably, when there's no point?

I see one thing you all have in common. You are all into anime. Half joking would share a story but am on the bus.

Yoko wrote

I've had it since sometime in high school. 23 now, and still dealing with it, but it's been getting easier. A few years ago it was so bad that I literally couldn't speak a word in groups of 2 or more people. But I've had a lot of shit happen to me that caused me to give less and less fucks over time. And not only that, you also start to realize that your social anxiety is ridiculous and that there's literally no point in letting your mind have such a negative control over your body and actions. You also need to realize that nobody really cares about you as much as you think they do. I also have adopted a sort of negative belief system that is helping my social anxiety slowly get better. We're all going to die one day, and no one is going to remember your little moments or even your entire person in one hundred years, which is nothing when compared to the time span of the Earth. Everything is meaningless, why live miserably, when there's no point?

So deep as always. You seem a tad depressed with that thinking though.

If I could just learn how football works, I would have an endless box of communication materials to work with.

Okay.. reading the whole of this thread

>Thanks for the advice..
I'll try it

For concrete steps, this is the best thing I've found:

Image no longer available

I've gotten over a lot of my worst social anxiety, but I still seem to have trouble making friends. Most people who are passionate about the same things as me either have personalities that I greatly dislike or are senior citizens.

I always get very anxious when politics/social issues/etc. come up as discussion points, which is what my biggest issue is now.

I still feel like a child when I'm talking to another adult. I don't understand crap about politics, the economy, social topics, even hobby/pop culture stuff is lost on me 90% of the time. You know what my strongest conversation starter is? The weather. Yep, I'm doomed to be that 40 year old weirdo sitting on the park bench saying "How about this weather we're having huh.. takes long sip of coffee". I think that's the reason I like animals so much, they just listen to whatever inane things you have to say. The internet's the same way. I like reading about people's mundane lives.

Xen wrote

I still feel like a child when I'm talking to another adult. I don't understand crap about politics, the economy, social topics, even hobby/pop culture stuff is lost on me 90% of the time. You know what my strongest conversation starter is? The weather. Yep, I'm doomed to be that 40 year old weirdo sitting on the park bench saying "How about this weather we're having huh.. takes long sip of coffee". I think that's the reason I like animals so much, they just listen to whatever inane things you have to say. The internet's the same way. I like reading about people's mundane lives.

If only it was acceptable to hang out without talking about anything

Apophany wrote

malmon wrote

Xen wrote

I still feel like a child when I'm talking to another adult. I don't understand crap about politics, the economy, social topics, even hobby/pop culture stuff is lost on me 90% of the time. You know what my strongest conversation starter is? The weather. Yep, I'm doomed to be that 40 year old weirdo sitting on the park bench saying "How about this weather we're having huh.. takes long sip of coffee". I think that's the reason I like animals so much, they just listen to whatever inane things you have to say. The internet's the same way. I like reading about people's mundane lives.

If only it was acceptable to hang out without talking about anything

I think it is in some cases, but only with a very close friend or a significant other. There is a such thing as comfortable silence. It occurs when you're comfortable enough around each other to just relax, admire each other enough to simply enjoy one another's presence, and/or know that there's no need for conversation until it comes naturally. Imagine sitting by a campfire with your waifu/husbando. You don't really need to say a lot, do you? You can just stare at the flames and enjoy their company--maybe cuddle a little bit.

I don't know. Maybe it's not a thing and I'm just crazy. Let me know what you think.

Well, I sure hope that it's a thing, because cuddling by a campfire sounds awesome.

based_bluetawn wrote

Try amphetamines like methamphetamine or adderal (which is identical), don't smoke them, snort or eat and don't use more than you have to because they are fun and tempting, don't redose, yes, meth causes dopamine system damage, regular amphetamines do not.

I learned more from a couple uses of amphetamines than I did in a college class on public speaking (though it did help).

I went from socially anxious to an extremely nerfed anxiety response.

That's my experience, don't take it as truth. Playing with drugs is a dangerous game.

Doing meth is just retarded in the first place it cooks your brain lmao.
I personally wouldn't advise doing hard drugs just to combat anxiety go get prescribed xanex or something else that's been clinically tested and is SAFE.

Shiro wrote

based_bluetawn wrote

Try amphetamines like methamphetamine or adderal (which is identical), don't smoke them, snort or eat and don't use more than you have to because they are fun and tempting, don't redose, yes, meth causes dopamine system damage, regular amphetamines do not.

I learned more from a couple uses of amphetamines than I did in a college class on public speaking (though it did help).

I went from socially anxious to an extremely nerfed anxiety response.

That's my experience, don't take it as truth. Playing with drugs is a dangerous game.

Doing meth is just retarded in the first place it cooks your brain lmao.
I personally wouldn't advise doing hard drugs just to combat anxiety go get prescribed xanex or something else that's been clinically tested and is SAFE.

This one TED talk I saw, they talked about using Ketamine for this sort of stuff. In mice, it seems to be considerably more effective at a much lower dose with fewer side effects than (meth)amphetamines. I haven't really read in to its effectiveness on humans though.

malmon wrote

Shiro wrote

based_bluetawn wrote

Try amphetamines like methamphetamine or adderal (which is identical), don't smoke them, snort or eat and don't use more than you have to because they are fun and tempting, don't redose, yes, meth causes dopamine system damage, regular amphetamines do not.

I learned more from a couple uses of amphetamines than I did in a college class on public speaking (though it did help).

I went from socially anxious to an extremely nerfed anxiety response.

That's my experience, don't take it as truth. Playing with drugs is a dangerous game.

Doing meth is just retarded in the first place it cooks your brain lmao.
I personally wouldn't advise doing hard drugs just to combat anxiety go get prescribed xanex or something else that's been clinically tested and is SAFE.

This one TED talk I saw, they talked about using Ketamine for this sort of stuff. In mice, it seems to be considerably more effective at a much lower dose with fewer side effects than (meth)amphetamines. I haven't really read in to its effectiveness on humans though.

Drugs are bad, mm'kay? Naturally I can't speak for anyone else on the forum, but every case of depression/anxiety I've seen IRL saw their condition significantly worsen if they used any form of drugs; be it prescribed or otherwise.

And of course, its worth noting that drugs aren't some sorta miracle-cure; my former roommate has taken antidepressants since middle school, but without a strong personal motivation and the appropriate support structure at home, all he's done for the past ten years is increase the dose. These give him transient bursts of happiness, perhaps two weeks long, before he relapses into his normal state.

I have dealt with social anxiety since I was around the age of 12, and I still struggle with it occasionally. A good way that I have found to help oneself with such an affliction is by reading more, not necessarily fiction, but philosophy. If you can learn about how people think you can learn how people work. It's also just very thougt provoking and gives you many ideas to apply in your life, especially when talking to people. I can't really reccomend drugs or anything like that, but another way of treating social anxiety, at least that I have found is by doing a sort of exposure theraphy and talking with people who you are close with regularly and trying to learn how to work out a conversation and how to carry yourself around other people. While I think that it will require determination to do so, once you learn how to talk with people, it makes it much easier to be around them. At least that's how I felt after I kinda learned how to move a conversation along. Find something that may put you into contact with like-minded people around you. If you have common interests with someone it makes it so much easier to start talking to them, as you already have a conversation starter already with your interests. I really hope this helped you out~!

malmon wrote

Shiro wrote

based_bluetawn wrote

Try amphetamines like methamphetamine or adderal (which is identical), don't smoke them, snort or eat and don't use more than you have to because they are fun and tempting, don't redose, yes, meth causes dopamine system damage, regular amphetamines do not.

I learned more from a couple uses of amphetamines than I did in a college class on public speaking (though it did help).

I went from socially anxious to an extremely nerfed anxiety response.

That's my experience, don't take it as truth. Playing with drugs is a dangerous game.

Doing meth is just retarded in the first place it cooks your brain lmao.
I personally wouldn't advise doing hard drugs just to combat anxiety go get prescribed xanex or something else that's been clinically tested and is SAFE.

This one TED talk I saw, they talked about using Ketamine for this sort of stuff. In mice, it seems to be considerably more effective at a much lower dose with fewer side effects than (meth)amphetamines. I haven't really read in to its effectiveness on humans though.

As someone who used to abuse Ketamine I can say it just fucking kills you and it's super addictive. Rip my bladder.

Shiro wrote

malmon wrote

Shiro wrote

based_bluetawn wrote

Try amphetamines like methamphetamine or adderal (which is identical), don't smoke them, snort or eat and don't use more than you have to because they are fun and tempting, don't redose, yes, meth causes dopamine system damage, regular amphetamines do not.

I learned more from a couple uses of amphetamines than I did in a college class on public speaking (though it did help).

I went from socially anxious to an extremely nerfed anxiety response.

That's my experience, don't take it as truth. Playing with drugs is a dangerous game.

Doing meth is just retarded in the first place it cooks your brain lmao.
I personally wouldn't advise doing hard drugs just to combat anxiety go get prescribed xanex or something else that's been clinically tested and is SAFE.

This one TED talk I saw, they talked about using Ketamine for this sort of stuff. In mice, it seems to be considerably more effective at a much lower dose with fewer side effects than (meth)amphetamines. I haven't really read in to its effectiveness on humans though.

As someone who used to abuse Ketamine I can say it just fucking kills you and it's super addictive. Rip my bladder.

Well, the same can be said for many drugs, hence why you're not supposed to take loads of them. Then again, afaik, most antidepressants are addictive as well, mostly because of the withdrawl symptoms (at least that seems to be the case for the ones I was meant to take).

Also, here's the talk I'm on about

Though it is a shame that some rely on drugs