Make one of your favorite games sound as shitty as possible

Backlash wrote
Nodoudt wrote
Backlash wrote
Nodoudt wrote

Were you too unhealthy to join the military?

Are you barely able to hit the broad side of a barn with a firearm?

Can't read a map to save your life?

Well, now you have the opportunity to see just how miserably you would have failed in this exciting, next-generation shooter!

  • Enjoy the soothing sounds of your own wheezing as you struggle to run up a hill wearing a full vest and ruck!

- Experience sensational migraines from missing any target further out than 500 meters!

  • Cower in utter terror as your enemies outmaneuver you using drones and strafe your position with 30mm gatling cannons and high-explosive rockets!

All this and more, in:

ArmA III

Sounds like a hell of a time. Too bad my graphics card would melt trying to run it.

This video sums up the hyper-realistic madness quite well.

Aye, I played the original Operation Flashpoint. Fun stuff back in the day; even now, it's still got its charm.

ooooo yes, I played a bit of the original (was very young back then), and enjoyed Dragon Rising.

Youre a 7 foot tall green man shooting guns and getting yelled at by a naked blue AI lady

You're a slav kid that can't talk and plays with magnets, trying not to get abducted by some Russians guys.

9 days later

You die, a LOT. The only time you aren't dying is when you're standing in fire or running away from the possibility of dying.

And there's also a crow that takes your shit and gives you other shit.

Most people play it, except the people on this website because they're so fucking bad that they can't even start it. In the end everyone loses anyway, so there's really no point. It's one of the most satisfying games though, but if you lose your heart will be broken.

That's right I'm talking about the game of love man rip in peace my heart 2015.

Inkjet Printer wrote

Most people play it, except the people on this website because they're so fucking bad that they can't even start it. In the end everyone loses anyway, so there's really no point. It's one of the most satisfying games though, but if you lose your heart will be broken.

That's right I'm talking about the game of love man rip in peace my heart 2015.

I thought you were talking about Dwarf Fortress.

GodDAMN do I want to play that, but I dont think I'll go through the effort necessary to get into it for a while.

None_At_All wrote

GodDAMN do I want to play that, but I dont think I'll go through the effort necessary to get into it for a while.

I'm in the same boat. I actually did try it out but gave up after a few hours when the first trading wagon showed up. That said I might try and take the plunge again. You know what they say, losing is Fun...

Play as a cat and die repeatedly
It's shitty game anyway

Syobon Action

You spend a whole shitton of hours building a gigantic city before you go bored, build a dam, destroy it and flood the entire thing. Plus points if you redirect the sewer to the top of the damn.

All in One wrote
None_At_All wrote

GodDAMN do I want to play that, but I dont think I'll go through the effort necessary to get into it for a while.

I'm in the same boat. I actually did try it out but gave up after a few hours when the first trading wagon showed up. That said I might try and take the plunge again. You know what they say, losing is Fun...

>in the same boat

May we never forget.

Edit: oh yeah, game.
Colourful shapes fall from the sky, and you have to put them in the right place. You will get stressed out.
Honestly, it's just like taking a younger sibling to kindergarten.

Tetris

Colourful shapes fall from the sky AT FUCKING ASIAN SPEED, and you have to put them in the right place. You will FUCKING DIE.
Honestly, it's just like taking a shit from a high place, hoping it lands into a nearby trashcan.

yumiyacchi wrote

Colourful shapes fall from the sky AT FUCKING ASIAN SPEED, and you have to put them in the right place. You will FUCKING DIE.
Honestly, it's just like taking a shit from a high place, hoping it lands into a nearby trashcan.

Invisible shapes plummet from the heavens at the speed of fucking light and God only knows what kind of sacred ritual you need to perform to survive. You will never be able to use your fingers again.
Honestly, it's just like being shot at by the most elite snipers of the American army in an inflatable neon duck costume whilst courting a particularly snobby Penrose tetragon, praying that neither of you get hit.



Also felt the need to post my high score to protect my sissymanpride here.

6 months later

If you don't know what you're doing you can very easily find yourself shotgun-married to a random farmer's daughter and then lose her mere minutes later in a tragic outhouse explosion. You can also just as easily prank call a paramilitary group and rustle their jimmies so badly that they vow to deploy a whole squadron to your location in retaliation; an exchange which, now that I think about it, really bears an uncanny resemblance to "What the fuck did you just fucking say about me" despite the game coming out a little over a decade earlier.

Lokorfi wrote

You pretend like you can play piano but it's only in four columns and you eventually will die

osu!mania?

Xen wrote

Escorting the mentally hanicapped through retail hell.

Real Life?

Lokorfi wrote
yumiyacchi wrote

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA IM AT 240MPH AND I'M GONNA FUCKING DIE!!!!

sonic the hedgehog

NFS Most Wanted 2012